


how i won the honeymoon

by yesravenreyes (notsmokingcamellights)



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Beach, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beach Holidays, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:58:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15870693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsmokingcamellights/pseuds/yesravenreyes
Summary: It's been a year since Twice disbanded. At 29, Mina booked two tickets for a honeymoon with the love of her life. A week later, she decided to fly without him.This is what happened when she decided to let her ex-girlfriend come with her, instead.





	1. crying over you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [UnderneathAnotherTree (underneaththewalnuttree)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/underneaththewalnuttree/gifts).



**September 1, 2026**

 

It’s been a while since Mina set foot in an airport.

 

It would be a lie to say that she didn’t have that much time. She seemed to have a lot of it these days, or rather, this past week.

 

Her eyes were still puffy from crying, and for once, she was glad to enter the Itami Airport in silence. As silent as it could be at one in the morning, without hundreds of fans clamoring for her attention. At least the strangeness of it all can distract her a little from the fact that her fiance left her last week.

 

Pulling her face mask tighter over her face, Mina spotted a free seat. She took it immediately, and considered taking her neck pillow out from out from her carry-on. If she didn’t have so much on her mind in a few minutes, maybe that would be enough to sneak in a nap for half an hour or so before her flight.

 

As if on cue, she felt her phone buzz in her front pocket. She had a clue who it was, even before she opened the message.

 

**[1:12 AM Jihyo:]** You settled, Minari?

 

She couldn’t help but smile, a little. It’s been a year since Twice disbanded, and Jihyo just couldn’t let some old habits die. Even with her seemingly never-ending K-drama shoots, the leader made sure she was updated with her members’ lives, always checking up on them when she could. Because she was so busy, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to receive late-night messages from her like this.

 

Mina was glad that Twice’s disbandment happened at the time it did. It was hot news for a few days or so, but a 13-member girl group from SM Entertainment was already on the rise. Some things never change, and it was time for another group to have the limelight for a few years. Besides, they had their own careers and solo projects to take care of. It was simply a matter of time.

 

Of all the people she’s lost over the years, due to busy schedules or other reasons, she’s glad she never lost Jihyo. She was the first one Mina told, after all.

 

“Yes. I’ll text you when I’ve landed. Thank you, Jihyo. Please sleep well,” Mina replied. She trusted Jihyo to tell the other members that she was fine, or trying to be. Her heart ached a little when she remembered how distant she’s been these few days, refusing to see the other girls in person until she had everything sorted out for herself. _After my trip_ , she thought. _I’ll see them all again. I need to._

 

Mina leaned back against her seat, placed her neck pillow on her nape, and tried to sleep. She thought of nothing for half an hour, and sleep didn’t come to her.

 

When it was finally time to board, Mina opened her eyes to see someone familiar, begging with one of the attendants before her. Mina was startled to hear that she was sobbing.

 

“I’m so so sorry I left my ticket,” Mina overheard. It wasn’t that difficult to, considering that the woman in front of her was close to a full-blown panic attack. “I can present proof of purchase, I promise! It’s all on my phone! Please, please, my friend needs me. I need to fly out tonight, I--”

 

Mina rested her hand on the other girl’s shoulder, and was startled to see Momo, cheeks stained with tears and shocked beyond belief. Mina felt her heart drop to her stomach, and all the years without Momo came rushing back to her. Mina tried to think of how long it’s been. Days later, she would recall this exact moment, and how she wished she kept her head down then, how she should’ve left Momo alone. Right now though, Mina only had one thing on her mind. _Momo_ , she wanted to say. _Momo, you haven’t changed._

 

“Where are you going?” Mina asked gently, in Japanese. Momo couldn’t respond, and Mina had to ask a second time.

 

“Baler. It’s Baler,” Momo replied, trying to steady her voice. Wiping her tears from her cheeks, she continued. “In the Philippines… I need to see Heechul, Mina. He’s getting married and… he needs me there.”

 

A million questions ran through Mina’s mind, but she seemed to behave on autopilot. “Here,” she said, quickly showing the attendant her spare ticket. “Miss Hirai can have my other ticket.”

 

The attendant just stared at her, confused. “You mean Mr--”  


“No, he isn’t coming,” Mina said, curtly. At the corner of her eye, she could see Momo’s gaze shift. She didn’t want to feel worse by seeing the pity in the other girl’s eyes, so she forced a smile. “Will there be a problem?”

 

“No ma’am. We can accept this, no problem,” The attendant smiled. It was nearing 2 am after all, and the airline didn’t want to deal with a celebrity complaint. “Enjoy your trip.”

 

“Thank you,” she replied, and proceeded to board with Momo by her side.

 

They walked side-by-side, keeping a respectful distance from each other. After a few painful minutes, Momo finally spoke, “Are you sure you want me to come with you, Minaring?”

 

Mina looked at her, again. She took all those moments for granted, she realized. How many times have they been side-by-side like this? At events, performances. At the dorm, surrounded by the girls who would become their best friends, for life. At hidden locations as they toured around the world, with Momo always holding her hand. Momo, always pulling her in. It was Mina who was always hesitant, always afraid.

 

Momo had every right not to speak to her again. But Mina remembered the hot flush of anger that coursed through her body, seeing texts to her fiance she was never meant to read. A week to herself, claiming she didn’t need her friends, didn’t need anybody. Thinking that she could bear to go on this trip alone.

 

“I don’t know if I want you here,” Mina replied, staring at the floor. “I just…. need someone with me. For a while. Is that alright?”

 

She looked at Momo, and she just knew.

 

“Yes. It’s fine.”


	2. now i'm getting older and it makes me / think of how it used to be so easy

**August 18, 2016**

 

“Is this fine?” 

 

“Go ahead,” Momo replied.

 

She was bound to be half-asleep in a few minutes, but moments like these were too rare between them these days. Because she didn’t know when it would happen again, Momo let Mina gently massage the palm of her right hand. She tried not to close her eyes, and let herself look at Mina instead.

 

The girl was splayed naked beside her, in deep thought. This wasn’t the first time this happened, and Momo could barely remember when it started. They were too young to be messing around, definitely, but it was common behavior among trainees in other groups and even her own. Even though they were trainees no longer, they haven’t stopped. She didn’t know if they should (did she want them to? She didn’t think so, not yet.) and she didn’t know if her other friends stopped with their partners as well. 

 

It wasn’t her business anyway. No one asked or told on the other. 

 

_ Let me have this, _ she thought. 

 

“You’re still thinking about it,” said Momo, as she brushed a strand of Mina’s hair away from her face. She knew Mina wouldn’t let it go that easily; she could tell by the way her expression changed when it was announced that they didn’t win Hit The Stage. She could tell by the way Mina silently held her in the dark that night, moving quickly, too desperately than how she normally would. 

 

Momo remembered glancing above her as she watched Mina come, seeing the notes Mina painstakingly wrote all over the printed images from their practice footage. Momo knew that the only way she would remember them was to have them there, above her bed. 

 

“It’s hard to stop thinking about it,” Mina sighed. She frowned. “I really thought you should’ve won, Momo.”

 

“Can you please stop calling it my performance? When you were literally in it?” Momo replied, with a small smile. Gently, she removed her hand from Mina’s grasp and let it rest gently on Mina’s thigh. “I literally couldn’t call the choreo finished without your approval.”

 

“You came up with everything though, I just,” Mina paused for a bit, struggling for words. “I don’t think I can ever come up with something like that.” 

 

Momo had to choose her words carefully, here. She always sensed a hint of jealousy from Mina all these years, and she didn’t blame her. Choreography came almost effortlessly to Momo these days. Entire concepts, themes, routines, down to costume ideas. She could think of it all, and it wouldn’t even take a few hours sometimes. 

Although Mina’s eye for detail was impeccable, and her technical knowledge surpassed Momo’s by miles, years have gone by and the other girl still couldn’t choreograph an entire routine on her own. Momo could only imagine how frustrating that might feel. 

 

“Please don’t say that,” Momo looked up at her again, pleading. “Remember what we agreed on? Can we just stick to that, please?”

 

Saying “please” twice seemed to do the trick. Mina sighed again, wrapping her pinky finger around Momo’s and pointing to herself with her free hand. “Ginza dance studio.”

 

She pointed to Momo right after. “Professional choreographer.”

 

“Don’t you like how it sounds?” Momo smiled, kissing her fingers. “No matter what happens, we’ll get there.”

 

“We….we’ll get there,” Mina responded, yawning loudly. Without a word, she wrapped herself around Momo, kissing her bare neck. It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, resting her head on Momo’s chest. 

 

When the sunrise came, Momo untangled herself from Mina and watched it alone from her bed. She didn’t want to wake her, even though she’s always wanted to see the sunrise with someone else. 

 

Some of the other members woke up early, but looking back, seeing soft rays of light hit Mina’s face as she slept, Momo told herself that she would see it with Mina first before anyone else. 

 

She wasn’t sure of anything else, but she was sure of this.

 

**September 1, 2026**

 

When she heard the pilot mention that the plane was going to descend, Mina opened her eyes. It was still dark. 

 

Momo was asleep beside her, open-mouthed, resting her head comfortably on Mina’s shoulder. The polite thing, the appropriate thing, would be for her to gently move Momo’s head away. It would be less awkward for the both of them that way. 

 

Before she could, Momo groggily opened her eyes. Yawning heavily, she began to reach for her carry-on below her seat.

 

_ I guess I was overthinking, _ Mina thought, and stood up to retrieve her carry-on from the overhead cabin. Momo was nothing if not completely sensitive after all, and nothing untoward would happen if neither of them let it. 

 

Momo took the aisle seat, and went ahead, with Mina closely behind her. Upon descending, Mina squinted at the first few hints of sunrise up ahead. 

 

“Sorry, can we?” Momo asked, pausing. “I’m so tired, I need this.”

 

She wasn’t looking back at Mina, but straight ahead, a little transfixed. Mina figured that this wasn’t the first time Momo has seen a sunrise, and wondered how many sunrises she watched over the years. Momo looked beautiful like this, and this came as easily to Mina as breathing.

 

_ Were you alone, this whole time?  _ She thought, and desperately wanted to ask Momo, right then and there.  _ You couldn’t have been alone.  _

 

A few minutes passed, and the sun was shining brightly on them both. 

 

“Let’s go?” Momo asked, smiling slightly. If this happened just a few years back, Mina would’ve swiftly taken her hand. Instead, she just nodded.

 

After claiming the rest of their luggage from the Baler airport, the both of them discovered that they were staying at the same resort, with rooms adjacent from each other. 

 

Mina expected a shift in the air, an awkwardness well-deserved. Instead, Momo gently touched her arm. “At least you'll know where I am if you need me.”

 

The relief that came over Mina was impeccable, but she knew she couldn’t stay with Momo this entire trip. It would be too much to impose this early, after all they've been through. “I'll be okay,” she replied, trying to smile. “In fact, there's me.”

 

Momo looked behind her to see Mina’s service driver, an unassuming local in white shorts with a huge sign displaying Mina's name and her fiance's in red ink. 

 

Before she could say anything in protest, Mina spoke first. “It's fine! It's just me!” she called out, waving to the driver. After looking a little clueless, he quickly understood and began to help her with her things. 

 

Mina walked ahead, looking back at Momo before leaving. Momo gave her a sad smile and a small wave, before meeting with her own service driver. As she walked away, Mina couldn’t help but notice that the sign he held only bared Momo's name.

 

It wasn't a long drive to her resort, and her driver barely made conversation. Again, sleep didn't come to her.

 

It wasn't ideal, but she planned on sleeping for a good three hours before bothering to explore on her own. When the car stopped, she looked out the window at the small resort. She wouldn’t have to walk too far to get to her room, at least.

 

Her driver quickly opened the car door, already carrying some of her luggage. She carried the rest, and followed his lead to her room.

 

“Ma’am, uh, sorry!” he said, suddenly turning a bit pale. “We need to have room service, ma’am, it’s not ready yet! You need to wait, ma’am!”

 

Mina gave what she hoped to be a reassuring smile. “It’s okay,  _ kuya _ . I just need to sleep for a while. I’m very tired. Please come back later.”

 

Despite what she said, he still looked extremely uncomfortable by her side. Mina quickly chalked it off to Filipino hospitality. They had too much of it sometimes, she heard, and it wasn’t something to be particularly worried about. 

 

When she opened the door to her room, she finally understood why he desperately tried to keep her out for a while longer. 

 

The room was beautiful, decorated with rose petals scattered across the bed and around it, dimly lit. Christmas lights hung from the ceiling, and an incredibly large welcome banner was placed right above her bed post. It had her name and her fiance’s displayed in beautiful lettering. She hasn’t seen his name since Jihyo had it blocked from her phone. 

 

A wave of exhaustion coursed through her, but Mina knew what to do. She turned to her service driver and promptly asked him to get room service. He nodded and apologized, quickly rushing to the front desk. Mina slowly closed the door and rested her head against the woodwork. Was it possible to be as tired as she was, with her heart thumping against her ribcage like this? 

 

After what seemed like ages to her, Mina deliberately made her way to Momo’s room, knocking so loud she thought her knuckles would give in. 

 

When Momo answered the door,  Mina immediately tried to speak. What came out initially was laughter.

 

“Momoring, they,” she said, feeling her throat close. Tears came to her eyes. “I…. I forgot to …. Tell them he wasn’t coming and they…..” 

 

Mina bowed her head, her right thumb and index finger resting firmly between her eyebrows. She took two deep, ragged breaths before looking up at Momo again. She didn’t try to stop the tears from coming any longer.

 

“F...flowers in my room, Momo, I can’t stay there, I can’t look at any of it, I avoided talking about him, thinking about him for days and I….” 

 

Before she knew it, Momo’s door was closed, and her head was resting on Momo’s shoulder, soaking her shirt through. Mina could only hear her own wracking sobs as Momo held her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Seventeen" by No Rome.
> 
> If you've made it this far, let me know what you think in the comments below or tweet me @_basedgodlisa.


	3. it breaks my heart to see you happy without me

**January 20, 2015**

Mina knew she was dreaming. She always knew, and perhaps this is why she didn’t feel so attached to her dreams when they were happening.

She didn’t want to feel attached to this one either. In this dream, Momo was drowning.

Mina forgot who she was talking to, but it seemed important. Her attention didn’t have to be held for long--it was gone for just a few seconds before she heard Momo calling her in the distance, throat choked up with sea water.

“Minari!” she yelled, and Mina turned around to see Momo disappear into the deeper part of the water. Her throat went dry when she realized that Momo seemed even farther away from her than she was just a second ago, when she was teaching Momo how to swim.

Instantly, Mina dove back into the water, eyes stinging from the effort to stay open while she searched underneath for Momo. She spotted her a few feet below the surface, legs kicking at nothing and hands struggling to pull herself back up. How is no one seeing this, she thought, and felt guilty thinking that she wouldn’t have come rushing to her if Momo hadn’t screamed.

Maybe it was her blood pumping beneath her skin or perhaps Momo was a lot farther from her than she realized, but Mina began to feel fatigue settle in just as she grabbed Momo’s free arm with everything she had, so tightly that she felt like she could’ve been hurting her. Slowly but surely, they both rose to the surface together with Momo coughing and cling onto her for dear life.

Momo didn’t speak. Mina thought she didn’t want to, especially with the way Momo pressed her body so close to Mina’s own. “You’re alright. Just breathe with me,” she told Momo, and took deep, mechanical breaths with her. She felt Momo’s own pulse slow down and tried not to notice how her own seemed to quicken.

After a few minutes, Momo leaned back to look at MIna, looking much calmer even though Mina could still see the fear in the other girl’s eyes. “Thank you for pulling me up, Minari,” Momo said, hands relaxing lightly on Mina’s shoulders. How long did it take her to realize that it felt like everything else was disappearing at that point, that all she could feel was the water on her skin and her hands around Momo’s waist? Even her members’ voices seemed to grow distant, and with Momo looking at her like she did just then, perhaps her voice was the only sound Mina could hear, after all.

\--

**September 1, 2026**

Mina woke up to a pillowcase soaked with tears.

She was lying on her side, with Momo pressed tightly against her, arms around her waist and taking deep, even breaths. She knew the slightest flinch would wake Momo up; the other girl could never rest easily when Mina would go to bed upset or worried, even about the smallest things. True enough, she felt Momo stir slightly as Mina reached for her phone to check the time.

It was a little past 3 p.m. Although her heart didn’t feel any less heavy, she decided to take it as a small victory that she didn’t sleep through the entire day.

She turned around to see Momo already seated upright on the bed, arms around her knees, ready to listen. Mina saw the afternoon sun reflect gently on Momo, and let herself look at the other girl for a few seconds. It still baffled her, how Momo’s eyes remained so kind, how she looked at Mina like she often did when they were seventeen, despite all the pain Mina knew she caused.

When you get older, you find less and less things to fight about, her mother said, on when Mina told her she just got engaged, which seemed like forever ago. She hoped this could still hold true at that moment.

“The waves are pretty good today,” Momo said, gently. “If you want to go surfing, we can.”

“I’d like that,” Mina replied, with a small smile. She would hear about how good Momo was at surfing when her other members would bring her up in conversation, before clamming up and realizing that perhaps Mina didn’t want to hear about her just then. She wouldn’t admit it to them, nor would she probably admit it now, but she appreciated hearing about moments in Momo’s life, since she didn’t get to be a part of them.

After they got dressed in their swimsuits and rash guards, rented boards in hand, Mina couldn’t help but feel stung by the gaps in their lives, all the moments they kept separate from the other. Although Momo still wouldn’t want to leave her alone, she sensed a sudden formality in the other girl’s actions. The younger Momo would poke and probe, would place a hand over hers or on her cheek, her wrist, would strive to look straight into her eyes even if all Mina wanted to do was keep to herself.

Now she was about a shoulder’s width apart from Mina, already too far, silently looking ahead for a good surf spot. Maybe this is how Momo seemed older, how they both did.

“How’s this?” Momo stopped, pointing to the waves in front of them. They seemed average, probably too easy for intermediate surfers like they were, but good enough to not sweep them away.

“Let’s go,” Mina replied, and wordlessly, they paddled out into the water.

When the first wave hit her, Mina couldn’t let herself think of anything but this.

No one could make her feel like how she did then, with the sea in her hair and a board underneath her feet. This is how it felt like to be truly, happily alone, and she thought she had forgotten what that felt like.

As she swam towards another wave, she thought, for a brief moment, that dancing alone also made her feel this way. A sliver of pain danced across her chest when she realized that it had been months, maybe close to a year, since she’s done that. How long has it been since she last surfed, even?

After a few more minutes, Mina found herself too tired to continue. As she paddled back to shore, she noticed Momo already several feet in front of her, carrying her board. Mina’s heart sunk a little when she spotted Momo sitting down on her board, wordlessly choosing to sit at the tail end to accommodate her. Mina knew this was coming, but a part of her hoped that she wouldn’t have to speak so soon.

She didn’t want Momo to be the last to know though, and it was better to tell her everything here, while she felt like she couldn’t cry any longer.

Mina sat down a hand’s width apart from Momo, and noticed how Momo didn’t seem to look back at her. As if reading her mind, Momo said, “I’m waiting. The sunset’s coming, soon.”

Mina tried to follow Momo’s gaze, to push all the heaviness in her chest away as she stared out into the sea. Although she was trying, traces of it were still settled inside her. “How much do you know?”

“He left you,” Momo said softly, turning towards Mina. “I don’t know why. I tried asking Jihyo, but she told me she wasn’t sure if it was in her place to tell.”

“That was considerate of her,” Mina replied. She hugged her knees, drawing them closer to her chest. Mina was worried that she might sound too emotional, that she would bombard Momo with feelings that didn’t really concern her, anyway. At least, she didn’t think so.

There was no other way to find out how Momo would react anyway, until she just took a deep breath and went for it. Staring straight ahead, Mina began to speak. “My whole life had a trajectory. I knew exactly where I was going and when he ruined everything, everyone I told kept telling me to try to forget about it. To look forward. But what if I don’t know what I’m looking at?”

She turned to look at Momo again, and she knew Momo understood her. She probably has her own story to tell, Mina thought, but of course, Momo was too polite to interrupt her. Not now.

“He was supposed to send that photo to someone else,” Mina started again, and was surprised that her voice wasn’t breaking this time around. “I don’t know who, because I don’t know him. It was a simple, decent photo of him kissing another man. The photo was captioned, ‘I miss you.’”

“And do you know what the worst part was?” Mina said, and she felt anger crawl back into her voice. Or was it jealousy? “He looked incredibly happy. Like he could be sitting exactly where we are, and he’d stare into the horizon and know exactly what he was looking at.”

Mina looked away again, and noticed that the sun was beginning to set. “I wasn’t even mad at him for having someone else. He hasn’t touched me for a year, anyway. I was just so...jealous. That he was happy and I wasn’t.”

Mina knew her voice would break, and this time, she let it. “I just want to be happy and know where I’m going. Is that too much to ask?”

Momo rested her hand on top of Mina’s, squeezing it gently. “What did he tell you when you found out?” she asked, never taking her eyes off Mina.

“I called him a coward,” Mina replied. “I said he was too scared to leave so he had to go find someone behind my back. He snapped and told me that I was the one who was scared. That I was too scared to…”

She couldn’t say it. It was laughable at this point, how badly she repressed everything she did when she was younger, how much she tried to convince herself that she would never feel this way again. But she was at the beach, with a girl she used to love more than anyone in the world, and for once, no one knew who they were. She gently interlaced her fingers with Momo’s, and gave her a small smile. “You know what I was afraid of. And he was right.”

Mina took another deep breath, and tried to quell the heaviness in her chest. “I’m sorry I left you, too.”

“Sorry?” Momo asked, squeezing Mina’s hand tighter. “You had to choose between me or a long, illustrious career with the biggest girl group in the world. Me or your dream. I’d be lying if I said I would’ve chosen you, too. And I really, really wanted to.”

“Listen, Mina,” Momo said, ever so gently. “I may have held it against you, for years. But look where that decision took us? We never thought we would’ve made it this far, but we did.”

“And now what?” Mina asked, abruptly. “We’ve lived our dream, we can die and millions will remember us, so why can’t I feel like it was all worth it? Why can’t I just be happy?”

“Because you were lied to!” Momo snapped, and Mina was shocked to hear her tone change so fast. “He lied for more than a year, and suddenly, your life is changing so quickly again, but you can start over! That’s what all this is for!”

Momo let go of her hand, and firmly held Mina’s shoulder instead. “You need to want to move on. Why do you think I wanted to be on this trip so badly?”

“Wait, what?” Mina asked, pulling away from Momo slightly. “Momo, you never told me why you wanted to come here.”

Momo’s bewildered expression, crying at the airport, was still so fresh in Mina’s mind. The Momo in front of her was completely different however. She looked like she had so much to tell, and was at a loss for words.

“How long do you have?” Momo asked, and Mina might have just been imagining it, but she seemed as scared to talk now as Mina was, just a while ago.

“I’ve got all night,” she shrugged, giving Momo a small smile. “What could go wrong?”

\--

Chapter title from this [music video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFxqp_wOUx8). Yell at/follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_basedgodlisa) and let me know what you think in the comments! The end is near, and I promise I won't disappoint!

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to 3 am by Honne a lot and this happened whoop
> 
> This was inspired by an article I read in the New York Times: How I Lost the Fiancé but Won the Honeymoon. You can read it here. It's pretty brilliant: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/03/style/modern-love-how-i-lost-the-fiance-but-won-the-honeymoon.html
> 
> I write fics for free, but if you're keen on supporting me, kindly make a donation to my PayPal through this link: https://tinyurl.com/y998plru


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